While I decide to go the other way
Something pulls me, interrupts my decision
There I wish to live and find a purpose
Here, I have comprehended the futility
Whether I am being pushed or pulled, I know not
On who is behind the contradictions
Above restlessness, it is a continuous struggle
Difficult distancing myself from both realities
While I sit here exasperated and tired
Trying to create a permanent demarcation
Like everyone, I wake up, nudged by time
The weariness still holds on to me
Dual reflections and then hallucination
As if they are conspiring behind me
Trying to flummox the half-sleepy being
Forcing me to believe the indistinct truth
From some sense to perpetual nothingness
A fearful and surreal chasm I face
~Amitav
Amitav Chowdhury 